November 1, 2013 by briantshock
I’ve been hearing a lot about foxes and giraffes lately on the social medias, and frankly, while those are all good and well, I think another animal deserves some attention. And so, for my first entry in this ridiculously abbreviated NaBloPoMo (National Blog Posting Month), I’m going to drop some shocking truths for your brain about Earth’s mightiest creatures.
FACT # 1 – BEARS ARE AWESOME
This is an indisputable fact. I mean, look at this mighty creature.
Yikes! I just got a shiver down my spine. You think this bear is after your pick-a-nick basket? You poor fool. You misguided idiot. I almost feel bad for you, which is considerably more than what I can say about our grizzly “friend” here. He won’t show you any compassion. You should seek no quarter for none will be given. But hopefully with some understand you too will respect this ursine dominance.
FACT # 2 – THE LARGEST BEAR IS THE POLAR BEAR (URSUS MARITIMUS)
A while ago I went to the Oregon Zoo in Portland. Among the many creatures I saw, of course the most awe-inspiring was the mighty polar bear. I had never realized how large these animals were. I knew that if I was to ever run into a bear my death was guaranteed, but I had no idea how much these guys outclassed me in size. Adult males can range anywhere from 770 to 1500 pounds, and measure between 8 and 10 feet. That’s almost a ton of seal-chomping fury!
Coming in at a very close second is the kodiak bear, or Alaskan grizzly.
FACT # 3 – WHILE ALSO AWESOME, KOALAS ARE NOT BEARS
I shouldn’t even have to tell you all this! The koala (Phascolarctos cinereus) is not actually a bear, but is a marsupial native to Australia. Don’t worry, this guy is a herbivore, so you don’t have to be worried if you’re walking around Australia (though to be fair there are plenty of other things in Australia that will annihilate your life so you should still probably be worried). I’d probably pick one up and rub noses with it. This show always made it seem like a good idea.
(All these shocking facts came from Wikipedia and pictures came from whatever came up in the first few results on Google. How’s that for sourcing my material? Take it, MLA!)