Bear Facts 2

Leave a comment

November 8, 2013 by briantshock

There are way too many facts about bears to contain in a single post, so I’m back to give you three more to greatly improve your life and destroy your mind. I hope you’re ready because I’ve got some good ones for you this week. Catch up on the first post and then come back, and prepare yourself for a second helping of shocking bear facts!

FACT # 4 – BEARS ARE NOT ABOVE THROWING YOU OFF A CLIFF

This is a TRUE STORY that made the rounds this week. An 80 year old dude in Russia was fighting a bear in a raspberry field, when of course things went poorly for him, and the bear was like “F THIS” and threw the guy off a cliff. The man lived, somehow, and was discharged from the hospital after only a few days. I’m still trying to figure out how he survived this impossible encounter. He must have been drunk or senile to think he had a shot at stopping this bear. In any case, this is a brave, brave man.

Of course, Russians fighting bears is not a new concept…

FACT # 5 – THE SUN BEAR IS THE SMALLEST OF BEARS

I bet you thought the smallest bear was the teddy bear you clutch close to you every night while you’re sleeping, keeping you safe from the nightmares of having real bears maul you when you’re out going about your business. Well, that’s just wrong (the teddy bear thing, real bears will maul you; that is a very real threat).

The real smallest bear is the sun bear (Helarctos malayanus). Found in the tropical forests of southeastern area, sun bears grow to about 47 – 59 inches long and weigh about 60 – 143 pounds. They typically have some kind of cool looking moon-shaped light patch of fur on their upper chest.

Come brother, let us practice what we shall do to the humans!

FACT # 6 – A DRINKING, SMOKING BEAR WAS IN THE POLISH ARMY; I AM DEAD SERIOUS ABOUT THIS

Man, this fact is so exciting that I had to get up and pace back and forth for a while to try to calm myself down. In 1942, an abandoned bear cub was found in Iran that was later donated to the Polish Army. This bear was named Wojtek, and was officially drafted into the Polish army and given the rank of Private. He enjoyed smoking (and eating) cigarettes and drinking beer. In the Battle of Monte Cassino he helped out by carrying ammunition crates around, never dropping a single crate. I can’t even carry a plate of food from the kitchen to the table without dropping my silverware!

Wow, I don’t think I can handle any more great bear facts without breaking down and weeping. Got any interesting or cool bear facts or stories? Leave them in the comments below!

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: