November 11, 2013 by briantshock
I try to come up with topics to write about that are fairly useful or interesting on at least an elementary academic level, but I was having some trouble thinking of something to write about for today. I was stumped; what could I tell people about? Finally, the answer became clear. So today, given the circumstances, I thought I’d just be a little self-indulgent and bring you some shocking facts about myself.
FACT # 1 – TODAY IS MY BIRFDAY
Yes, I share this great day with the Veterans of our country. I loved that because my school always was closed on Veterans Day, so I always got the day off. Of course, the downside to this was I was never at school for my birthday, so I never could get that free cup of ice cream with the impossible-to-use wooden “skateboard spoon”.
FACT # 2 – I HAVE AN EXCELLENT SENSE OF SMELL
This is something that has only really surfaced in the last few years, or maybe it’s always been around and I just figured everybody was like this. It turns out I have a very good sense of smell, and smell identification. I have tracked a scent once. This is a true story.
The downside to this is once you realize you can smell things very well, you soon after realize that most things smell non-offensive at best, and terrible at worst.
FACT # 3 – MY BLOOD CLOTS FAST, CLEARLY THIS IS A MUTANT HEALING POWER AND NOTHING MORE/WORSE
One time in college, I was leaving a class when I noticed that the Red Cross had set up their monthly blood drive in one of the nearby larger classrooms. Not having anywhere urgent to be and wanting to get free cookies and juice under the cover of charitable sacrifice, I signed up and waited to give blood. I’ve never really had a problem with needles or shots or anything, so this isn’t turning into one a story of me fainting and taking out medical equipment or anything, but the nurse did show some concern about halfway through the blood draining procedure (I don’t know a better way to put this).
“Your blood flow is slowing up,” she said, “We’re having trouble filling the bag.”
“Keep going, I can do it.” I replied, thinking this would sound cooler than it did (it didn’t).
It took a little longer than usual, she said, but we did finish. After bandaging me up, she said that my blood appears to clot much faster than the average person. All I took from this was “you have a super healing power.”
I ran back to my dorm as fast as someone who had just lost an eighth of their blood could and got on the AIM (does this acronym mean anything to anyone anymore?). I messaged my friend, who was in a pre-med program, to tell him what the nurse had told me, and how I was basically Wolverine.
“I think that just means you’re more likely to have a heart attack sooner,” he responded, “I don’t think you have a super power, but I do think you should probably take better care of yourself.”
Nope, I’m Wolverine, bub.